Many of my favorite retired basketball players have written letters to their younger selves over at the Player’s Tribune. Inspired by that series, I’m writing a letter to my 18 year old self:

• Girls are as nervous about you as you are about them. Break the ice. Talk to them and if you like one, ask her out on a date.

• School is important but remember to have fun too. Don’t go home on the weekends. Spend some time in your new community at college. You will make life long friends over the next couple years.

• Define yourself early in conversations. Make an impression on people. If you are neutral, people will write you off as quiet and uninteresting. They will not remember you.

• You didn’t do well in your english classes in high school. Don’t let that discourage you from writing. Turns out you’re pretty good at it—you just haven’t found the right topics to write about yet.

• You’re learning the craft of programming. Master it and perfect it. Treat it like an art. You will reap many rewards down the line for the hard work you put in now.

• Don’t be afraid to fail. Don’t be afraid to be rejected. Whether it’s approaching a cute girl at a party or asking someone for a letter of recommendation, do it. This will take you a lot of time to learn but part of becoming a man is learning how to do deal with rejection. The earlier you get it, the easier it will be to handle down the line.

• Don’t be intimidated by the guys in the weight room. Turns out the gym is a safe space where everyone wants each other to do well. Lift weights—a lot of them.